#bc I thought...I'm Sad and I can't even get outta bed to go to school how am I suppose to find motivation to go thru the acting process

[andthebubbles]

heartstopper 2x05-08 (yeah i decided to finish watching it tonight)

heartstopper 2x05

uhhh so nick and charlie just ran off from the louvre without telling the teachers? hahahahahaaha

darcy!!! grrrrr

as much as i don't care for tao and elle's storyline, it was nice when they finally (? i can't remember if they kissed before this) fucking kissed

ben continues to be annoying

not much to say, really

onwarddddd

heartstopper 2x06

sooo the teacher thing is kinda awkward bc like... just... offering to share a single bed like sorta outta nowhere? skjfngkfjg okay well whatever

yay nick finally said it/came out

darcyyyy <3

why the hell was ben at the party and why was he let in when harry wasn't, i thought everyone hated him, and it's not like he seemed to have any friends at the party anyway, he was just standing around and then he made a fuss in the truth or dare game

truth or dare btw when it involves peer pressure like that sucks

i like tao and elle a lot better now that they're together. they're really cute. esp when they kicked charlie out of the toilet even though he needed to pee lol

i know i said the teacher thing was a bit weird but i meant, more like how it seems to be beginning... you'd think two adults who work together would do it a bit more carefully in case it goes pear-shaped?? also i kinda like mr farouk when he hasn't got a stick up his arse lol, and ajayi is fine ofc

aaah nearly forgot to mention: nick's dad is a fucking dickkkk. absent fathers make me so mad

kinda feeling for isaac here. i also don't like kissing people, it's gross, and people put suchhh importance on kissing... is it meant to feel good or...? all it is is just saliva-ey and wet and gross and sometimes you can even smell the saliva which is ew

heartstopper 2x07

okay before i forget to say it, omg why didn't charlie block ben ages ago on insta

i had already seen charlie's speech to ben on tumblr a few days ago so it didn't get me as pumped (it was very good though) but

NICK'S speech at the dinner table SKSJDNFKNGKFJGN THAT got me pumped (for two broad reasons: 1. yeah why care/who gives a fuck when your dad doesn't give a fuck about you, 2. re your dad seeing you twice a year or some shit like that... so i have an aunt who lives in one country, and her husband lives in the neighbouring country, and they probably only see each other like twice a year, and they're not divorced, and like, what the FUCK are you guys doing; my mum told me she used to (or still does) get really sad about it, so, you know, that thing with nick and his dad really hit hard, even though it's not affecting me personally; i'm just so mad at that dickhead uncle)

also i love tori so much, i so wanted her to stab her fork straight down on david's arm instead of just using her fingers. and then i wanted her to play some major prank on david when she was in the bathroom, like how matilda changed her dad's ... hair product thing into bleach

darcy aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah (yeah my mum makes a fuss if i wanna wear a suit too :( ) (she looks gorgeous in a suit btw)

isaac is really going through it huh... like, the bit at the mall/shopping area

(btw so... the UK has sixth form-specific schools? heccc)

heartstopper 2x08

that last scene with nick and charlie!! jdkjgnfkjgkjk

and tara and darcy!!! i felt sorry for tara when she was at the prom but then you also know that darcy's going through some serious shit and... yeah. her home life is awful!! where did she go that night after the prom? i hope tara's parents let her stay over foreverrrr

is tori aroace as well? if we is... could we just have an ace person in s3 if there's an s3...

i detecttt imogen/sahar lol

[sp00kysabrina]

New York overwhelmed me. For the first few weeks I only strayed a couple blocks from my hotel off Times Square. I would see three movies a day in an attempt to escape my loneliness and depression. I spent a hundred and fifty dollars of my limited funds just on seeing movies

James Dean

[bumblequinn]

20 Questions for 2020

i got tagged in a thing by my friend @puppystorm! it’s been approximately one million years since i did one of these so why not :>

1. Do you make your bed?

ehh i mean, i tidy things up alright, but i’ve never understood the top sheet. my bed is always against a wall and tucking it in is just too much. for what, so i can have One Extra Bonus Sheet? tucked over the already adequate fitted sheet and mattress cover?? whom am i, Princess of the Pea??? get outta here!!!

2. Favorite number?

37. it's the funniest number. no i will not elaborate

3. What’s your job?

i make the music for @slarpg! the game is good and you should play the demo!!!

i’m also my house’s resident housekeeper, what with the sweeps and the mops and the scrubs and the litter boxes and so on. i often don’t keep quite as on top of it all as i’d like but i try :’>

4. If you could, would you go back to school?

to be honest i don't know. i have felt kind of aimless since i finished. i think the structure and purpose would do me a lot of good. but what would i study? if i could do it over i'd study music, but i've learned enough on my own time that i could hardly justify the expense of formal education for it. so i'm just not sure.

maybe i'd study how to fix our planet so we're not doomed lol

5. Can you parallel park?

i give myself a solid B+ on parallel parking, a C on actual driving, and an F- on not zoning out when i'm traveling at 75 miles per hour

6. A job you had which would surprise people?

lol slarpg apparently! i've been in a few hangouts now where it came up and someone was like "that's YOU???" still surprises me hahah :')

7. Do you think aliens are real?

before recently i was kinda torn bc y'know the whole fermi paradox thing, if they're out there how come we can't find ANY signs??? but based on the state of the world and plausible trajectory for the future, coupled with the fact that all complex life on earth owes its existence to one freak-ass cell that vored a bacteria without digesting it, makes me think-

a) intelligent life is likely hella rare and complex life might just be as well, and

b) intelligent species might be too inclined to destroy themselves or their homes for expanding across planets/star systems to ever be a thing that any species survives long enough to accomplish.

not that there is any shortage of other people who have speculated this for a very long time already, and with much more eloquence and pizzazz. still, the thought makes me sad...... I Want To Believe

(aliens absolutely have not visited us tho lmao #SPICYTAKEHOURS)

8. Can you drive a manual car?

i'm not sure how a car constructed out of manuals could hold itself together but gosh darn it i'll try

(this post is getting long. more below the cut!)

9. Tattoos?

nope! it's one of those things i like appreciating on others but have no desire for doing it myself. i'm that way about a good handful of things really. i hope that doesn't make me boring :')

10. Favorite color?

THE TRIFECTA: pastel blues, violets and pinks. they remind me of a quiet sunset i think. and of the crystal gems. i want my wardrobe to be filled with them.... one day!!!

11. What’s your guilty pleasure?

........jane the virgin  👀 💦

yes i know gina rodriguez is a butthole irl don't yell at me i KNOW

12. Things people do that drive you crazy?

tear each other to shreds over minor things, especially online. assumptions, miscommunications, mistakes, whatever, the vitriol is everywhere these days and it just... it brings me down, dude. people even seem to take glee in it. i had to ditch twitter cos i just couldn't take it there anymore, but it's everywhere.

please practice patience, mindfulness, deescalation, and meta-communication. learn to pause and think critically before you reflexively lash out at others. you will hurt less and cause less hurt for others.

13. First thing you remember you wanted to be when you grew up?

a firefighter. which is hilarious. i am a toothpick lesbian with Weak Nerd Arms who can’t open jars. lemme just BODY SLAM your DOOR and FIST FIGHT your FIRES

14. Favorite childhood sport?

yes i'm calling that a sport i'm a DISASTER not an ATHLETE

MAAAAAAAAAAAARCO!

POOOOOOOOOOOOLO!

15. Do you talk to yourself?

DUDE yes. all the time. ever since i was a kid. i think back then it was a coping mechanism for being bullied a lot and feeling super alienated. i would lie in bed at night and have "conversations" with my stuffed dog rover and pretend he would talk back. eventually i grew away from that but the self talk stuck.

i think it helps me process what i’m thinking & feeling. i guess journaling would be the more "normal" way to deal with that? but i don't feel bad for doing what helps me sort thru things in my hyperactive radio static brain. it's other people who got a problem if they think it's bad!

16. What movie do you adore?

there are so many i could pick from and they've changed so many times in my life! let's just go with three.

into the spider-verse: for being a dazzling achievement in animation, design, audio, scoring, and writing. it's just a pure fun experience of sensory wonder on all fronts and a huge step forward for animation in film.

annihilation: for both the unforgettable imagery and the pure dread it instills, but more than that—for being the first piece of media i've come across that perfectly hits with a merciless gut punch the essence of trauma, what it feels like and, ultimately, how it changes you. (if ppl have suggestions for other movies that do this pls let me know!!)

halloween 3: for having the most absolute buck fucking WILD premise i have ever seen in my life. it's a straight up roller coaster yall. fucking preposterous and it doesn't even care. it revels in the batshitness. i love it.

17. Do you like doing puzzles?

ehhh not really. i'm too impatient. my lil adhd brain is like "GOTTA GO FAST!!!" so i generally get bored with puzzles and puzzle games. i like stuff that's reflexive and gets me in a flow state, like thumper and celeste. (zelda puzzles can be kinda fun i spose!)

i like mixing music though. mixing feels like a puzzle to me. fitting all the different pieces together. it's a lot of fun (when it isn't frustrating lmao).

18. Tea or coffee?

T E A all day binchhhhh! unless it’s black tea then T E A up until and no later than 4 pm BINCHHHHH!

19. Phobias?

this might be weird but... being seen and known.

story time: on my second or third birthday, a bunch of other kids were there (presumably kids of my parents' friends, it's not like a 2 year old has an independent social life right). so, when it came time to do the happy birthday song, and everyone gathered around the table and started singing, i got up... and crawled and hid under the table.

i've always had a complicated relationship with recognition. i want to be acknowledged, of course! i want to be a part of people's lives. but paradoxically, something about being the subject of anyone's attention scares the shit out of me. sharing myself, being reminded i HAVE a self that is perceived by and impacts others has always been deeply challenging for me.

i don't know why. maybe my parents didn't do too hot with me as a baby and i got some messed up issues with attachment right out the gate lol.

it can be lonely honestly. it's been a challenge in relationships and in friendships and i've messed up stuff because of it. but i've grown a lot and am starting to feel more like a person and more comfortable with existing as a social being! baby steps. :)

20. Favorite kind of music?

[[[[vibrates]]] YES

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The Inevitable Part Where It Asks You To Tag 5 People

i pretty much never do this but NEW YEAR NEW ME TAG YOU’RE IT

@moth-fuzz @grizzlybutch @leafcrunch @lycanrocc @comickit

(but for real you can pass if this ain’t yr jam i ain’t your boss lol)